


Monday Robbed Us Blind

by thotograph



Series: Our Worst Weeks [1]
Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Angst, Child Abuse, Drug Use, M/M, Recreational Drug Use, content may be triggering, roadtrip au, ziam
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-07-28
Updated: 2015-08-02
Packaged: 2018-04-11 19:25:58
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,785
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4449236
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thotograph/pseuds/thotograph
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“So you don’t like comfort?” </p><p>“No.” Zayn spoke quickly, looking out his window. </p><p>That makes them opposites, Liam thinks. Comfort is what levels Liam out, balances him for a couple seconds before the world shifts him out of control again.</p><p>“Got a habit you’re trying to break?” Liam asked, picking at a hole in his jeans. </p><p>“Yeah” Zayn drawls, twitching in his seat. “Something like that.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Something Like That

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys! This being my first fic on AO3, I first wanted to thank you all for reading MROB! It means more to me than you'll ever know. If you want updates about the story or just wanna talk about Ziam (or Zayn and Liam)/other 1D ships with me, follow me on tumblr @thotograph!! Again, thank you all and I hope you enjoy :)

Breathing had never seemed so bittersweet. Each easy intake of the crisp autumn air gave way to crippling anxiety, causing falters in the rhythmic taps of Liam’s trainers against the pavement. He fought the hysteria that was threatening to overtake him. Junk clattered against his back as he made his way down the unfamiliar road. It was hard to think properly, with only his body keeping him going and his mind in a jumbled, tangled mess. There were so many things to think about.

Cars seldom drove by, a downside to taking the “road less traveled”. Robert Frost can fuck off. Liam’s phone beeped in his pocket, a crying noise reminding him that the battery was dying. Forgetting to charge his phone last night was high on the list of stupid things he’s done lately. Forgetting to get gas was number one. He has been frantic and hurried lately, with swift movements and crushing repercussions. Now he was paying the price for his impulsiveness.

He supposes he should be thankful for how good things had been for the last 2 years. He had gone through hell for 18 years and lived to tell the tale. And he kinda did, to Andy. Just a little bit. A glance into his life, a message left for him to decipher.

* * *

 

It was a slow night, a few patrons scattered throughout the building. Liam had been wiping down the bar. Andy slid into the seat across from where he was, giving him that “I’m trashed and it’s fucking awesome” grin he knew and dreaded. It’s not like he doesn’t like Andy. Quite the opposite, he’s the best mate that Liam has. It’s just that drunk Andy was a bitch to deal with. Between dragging the lad home and putting him to bed, Liam wasn’t drunk Andy’s #1 fan.

“How bout a drink, yeah?” The slurred words from Andy caused Liam’s eyes to roll, glancing at his watch to see that he only has an hour left before he can drag Andy out of this hellhole and back home.He can freely kick his ass for drinking so much there.

“What do you want?” Liam didn’t mean to sound snippy, but it’s Monday, way too early in the week for this shit.

“Not for me mate! For you! You look like there’s a pole 9 inches deep.” Andy giggled, finding humor in his vulgarity.

“You know I don’t drink Andy.” Liam said as he grabbed a glass and filled it. If his best mate was going to sit here and pester him, he might as well try to sober Andy up.

Andy giggled again, accepting the water Liam had poured for him. He gulped it down quickly, ignoring Liam’s stutters for him to go slower or it won’t help.

“Sorry Sister Mary Liam” Andy teased “I forgot you’re a one kidney kid.” He continued to take the piss at Liam, accepting yet another glass.

“That’s not the only reason.” Liam said without thinking. He wasn’t sure why he felt the need to convince Andy that there were other reasons for his alcohol celibacy. Liam supposes that he can trust Andy and his honest, wide smiles. Since meeting him a year ago, he’s given a lot more than he’s taken. That’s something that Liam can appreciate.

Andy lifted his eyebrow, leaning forward to encourage his friend to continue. “Really?” His voice was light, but disbelieving. “Do tell.”

“I don’t like what alcohol does to people.” He spoke quickly, slamming down a clear glass.

Andy opened his mouth to speak, but Liam cut him off.

“It triggers something in people, you know? In some it triggers the happiest and most relaxed parts of themselves. But for others, it brings out the ugliest emotions and magnifies them. They’re out of touch with reality and hold onto the alcohol to stable them.” Liam gripped the counter hard as he spoke, choking out the words while his knuckles turned white. “They make mistakes, say things that they “don’t mean” then, when they’re sober and the damage has already been done, turn around and blame it on the alcohol, using its affects to take the blame off themselves. Its an excuse.”

Liam couldn’t breathe. Memories push to the front of his brain, taking over his thoughts. Flashbacks of raised voices and smashed bottles. Shattered hope and broken glass. The ever-present fume that he couldn’t stop smelling. It was too much at one time.

Andy didn’t speak. He couldn’t if he tried. His throat felt constricted, too tight with the amount of raw emotion in Liam’s voice. Meeting him, the kid was shy and skittish, looking like he was going to curl up into a ball at the slightest movement. He knew that Liam had problems, with how many pills he was required to pop a night and how he would have episodes that left him unable to breathe. Andy just didn’t know why. It wasn’t like Andy wasn’t incredibly curious, but he figured that if Liam was going to tell him, it was going to be in his own time.

Practicing the breathing exercises his past therapists taught him, Liam closed his eyes, forcing himself to push the heavy thoughts into the dark corners of his mind. None of it matters now, it’s over. But it does. It matters a hell of a lot and Liam feels like it’s just begun.

He wasn’t stupid. Liam knew it wasn’t going to be as easy as 1,2,3 to forget his past.

Looking up at his best mate’s pale face, Liam forced a smile before filling his now-empty glass with more water.

“I’m sorry Liam” Andy choked out when the puppy-eyed lad passed the third glass of water back to him. His heart felt heavy, his body slowly sobering. He didn’t even know the full story, but he still felt that he should say something, anything, to make the solemn look on his mate’s face go away. “I don’t know what you’ve been through, but you’re better than all of them, any of them, that hurt you. You’re my best mate, Liam.”

Liam had looked away from Andy, but his jaw loosened and he looked less like he was going to cry. Andy wasn’t sure if that was his doing or Liam’s own.

He's going to be forever grateful for Andy. He’s going to be forever grateful for the opportunity to breathe like everyone else for a bit.

Liam remembers seeing the brown haired guy skating through the park on a sunny June morning. He had been practically flying through the park, dodging glaring grandmas and staring children. Stuffing his hands into his pockets, Liam averted his gaze when Andy’s eyes locked on his. Looking down, he felt like bolting when Andy had skated over to him. Andy had grinned at him, saying “You look like the kinda guy who could use a drink!”

That was him, outgoing and a little creepy but it’s part of his charm. Liam had accepted, obviously. Fresh out of the system and with no support to fall back on, he needed all the friends he could get. He had been overwhelmed by Andy at first. He was too accepting of Liam’s faults too fast. It had Liam on edge, nearly pulling out his brown hair waiting in anticipation for the other shoe to drop, for Andy to toss him out onto the streets.

That never happened, instead, Andy chipped away at Liam’s walls. He never got far, only one layer of built up self-protection, but it was enough for Liam to consider him a genuine friend. Which is more than he can say he’s ever had.

Glancing at his watch a final time, Liam gave Andy another small smile that was more genuine than the one Liam had given him previously. Turning away, he made his way to tend to other customers.

* * *

 

The rumble of an engine broke Liam out of the only solid thoughts he’s been able to have since he left Andy’s house last night. Keeping his eyes forward, he was wary of the slow speed of a car. Most of the cars he’d seen whizzed past him, too focused on their own journey to pay attention to the lost lad with sad eyes walking alone on an open road.

Liam’s body tensed when he could see the car pulling up beside him. He refused to engage with whoever was driving, instead debating his next move. He could run, but the vehicle would be fast enough to catch him. Plus, where was there to run to? There was nothing around him but a road and forest. Liam’s seen enough horror movies to know that to run into the thick trees would be a dumbass move. Liam may have issues, but he wasn’t known for stupidity.

“You need a ride?” A voice, clearly male, spoke.

Liam continued his steps, and the car continued to move next to him. He had a hard time placing the accent, it’s not one he had heard before. Mind you, this was the farthest he had ever traveled throughout his life and the times he spend mingling with the locals and tourists were behind a bar in a crowded, loud room. The voice was smooth, and it made Liam want to turn and acknowledge him. He restrained himself instead, squaring his shoulders and continuing to move.

“Hey, you need a ride?” The man asked again, patiently, as if he assumed that Liam didn’t hear him the first time.

Liam opened his mouth to tell him no, but then he thought about his current dilemma. He didn’t know where he was, how far the next town was, or when another car would come by. His phone was almost dead, and it was about 6:00, which meant the sun would be setting soon.

Basically, he was fucked. Not even in a good way.

Now that the possibility of him being fucked had registered, he finally looked next to him. The car was a shiny black color, with what was clearly fresh paint. Liam didn’t pride himself on knowing a lot about cars, but it looked like a fairly new model. An Infiniti, he would guess. Nice.

The lad inside said vehicle, however, was what had Liam’s already muddied thoughts spiral out of control completely.

He was young, looking to be about the same age as Liam. He was...beautiful seemed like a weak word to describe what Liam was currently gaping at. The man’s jaw was well sculpted and patterned with a light stubble. He had lashes that were longer than Liam ever thought possible framing his large eyes. They were a golden color, peering at him with what Liam could place as concern. Eyebrows drawn together confirmed his suspicions. His pupils were dilated for reasons unbeknownst to Liam. His hair was black with a blonde highlight, styled into a high quiff that Liam found both attractive and stupid. Stupidly attractive.

“Nice hair.” Nice word choice Liam. Smooth. Really, you should write Hallmark cards.

The embodiment of sin’s lips quirked up at the sides, raising one eyebrow and looking amused. Mr. Jawline ran a hand through the quiff, long sleeved shirt lowering slightly with the movement to show thin wrists.

“Thanks, I grew it myself.” His voice took a teasing tone as he licked over his lips twice before continuing. “Are you getting in?”

It wasn’t like Liam hadn’t thought of what would happen if he were to attempt to walk for help. He was in the middle of nowhere with no cell service and no gas. There was no way for help to even know of his situation and he didn’t know how to get it.

Before Liam could give him a solid answer, he continued. “I’m not in a rush, but this thing is a gas guzzler and if we continue like this, we’ll both be shit out of luck.”

He had a point. Looking from the car to the guy watching him, Liam threw caution to the wind with a “fuck it” and stepped back for a tan arm to open the door.

Liam was already fucked up and down, might as well be fucked sideways too.

Jumping in, he threw his backpack into the back seat. The car was clean, all things considered. It gave him an uneasy feeling. Nothing felt personal. It was an environment that made Liam shiver. It reminded him too much of #3, with their white walls and hospital-like furniture. The front two seats looked new, no spills or tears in the seats. The back of the car held backpacks. Nothing shabby, he could pick out name brands on the clothes spilling out of the bags. While the rest of the car was immaculate, the backseat looked like a tornado blew through it.

Squeezing his eyes shut, Liam forced a panic attack down as he analyzed his surroundings. The guy next to him was thin, thin enough that it’d take alot for him to take Liam down if it came down to it. That isn’t Liam being cocky or anything, it was just a fact. After moving in with Andy, Liam took up boxing, bulking himself up to compensate for the years of tear-stained pillows and unexplained bruises. It was the remedy his fucked-up mind needed. Boxing had made him feel powerful, secure.

* * *

 

One. Breathe. Two. Breathe. Three. Breathe.

With every hit to the bag, Liam’s legs shifted back from side to side. His mind was clear, every ounce of focus in his body going into the jabs. Sweat clung to his body, matting his brown hair to his forehead. It was finally getting longer. #7 was the one that made him shave it. Looking back, it was more Liam’s fault than theirs. After shaving half of it on a dare, #7 was livid, demanding that he shave the rest as to not look like a “hoodlum”. A little stereotypical and jackass-ey, in Liam’s humble opinion.

Fourteen. Breathe. Fifteen. Breathe. Sixteen. Breathe.

Liam went a bit faster now, moving his hands and feet in sync. He remembers the nameless faces of those who got their rocks off by beating on him. He remembers the long walks home and the escape routes he had formulated as to not get his ass kicked at every turn. The hits turned harder.

Twenty One. Breathe.Twenty-Two. Breathe. Twenty-Three. Breathe.

#2 was the worst. They’re the ones that left him out there, cold and alone. Shivering in the dark, wanting and waiting for someone to help him. All because he didn’t get home before 8. It wasn’t his fault some prick took his books out of locker just to distribute them all over the school. 

The first letter had come when he was 10.

It was Christmas with #4. Liam was a pudgy kid, running through the snow to keep up with Marcus, who was determined not to let the kid catch him. Liam was called into the house by a snippy, unsatisfied voice. Confused, he sped inside, ignoring Mum #4's reprimand for tracking snow and dirt all over the house.

Thirty-Seven. Breathe. Thirty-Eight. Breathe. Thirty-Nine. Breathe.

Dad #4 looked at him over the counter, jaw clenched as he stared at the boy. Liam couldn't help the way his hands shook, the anticipation making him shift uncomfortably.

"What is this?" #4 spoke tightly, presenting Liam with a blue envelope, which had his name and the address printed on the front. At the top corner, there was a Superman stamp. Liam liked Batman better.

"Liam, what is this?" He spoke again.

"I don't know." He answered truthfully.

"Well, there's no return address. Do you want to tell me who this is from?"

"I-I don't know." And he didn't know. He'd never received mail before. It's not like he has a plethora of family members and friends beating down his door to interact with him.

Forty. Breathe. Forty-One. Breathe. Forty-Two. Breathe.

The letter was simple, handwritten.

_Liam, my baby,_

_It’s hard to explain why you’re getting this letter, and why you’re receiving it so late in your life. 3 families kid, thats a lot! I know that you’re trying your best, but you have to be good. It’s not easy. You’re probably wondering who this is. It’s your Mum, dear. Your real mum. It’s hard to believe, but I want you to know that I’m looking out for you, everyday. I can’t see you, for your sake, but just know that I love you. You’ll always be my special boy. Merry Christmas. Be good_

_Love,_

_Mummy_

Liam had dropped the note as if his hand was on fire.

Fourty-Six. Breathe. Fourty-Seven. Breathe. Forty-Eight. Breathe.

It was #8 that got him the therapist. She was a nice lady named Miss. Alexandria. She insisted that he call her Alex, but #7 taught him to always be respectful to adults no matter what they say. For people so hell-bent of being fucking polite, you’d think they’d treat him like a human being. She would sit him down on her comfy couches and ask him to lie down. Liam always took her up on the offer immediately.

He lived for the comfortable moments. He took each one as a blessing. The soft, relaxed moments when he stops drowning and can finally tread the water that had been suffocating him. She recommended that he see a doctor after only a week.

Dr. Irvine recommended the pills. Blue ones, the length of his nail, twice a day. Liam didn’t see other kids his age poppin pill after pill the way he had too. It wasn’t normal. He wasn’t normal. He also recommended breathing exercises. For the anxiety.

Fourty-Eight. Breathe. Fourty-Nine. Breathe. Fifty.

He stopped getting the letters at 18.

* * *

 

Liam’s going to die.

It’s so much and he’s going to die.

Balling his hands into fists, Liam shifts uncomfortably while Duke Eyelashes hummed to a song he didn’t recognize. He has to find a way out without offending the guy. He’ll walk as far as he has to. Fuck this.

“What’s your name?” Attractive Axe Murderer spoke, making Liam jump in his seat.

His head whipped to look at the lad. “What?”

“I asked what your name was.” He spoke slower this time, as if he was talking to a child.

Liam bit his lip. He was heavily contemplating telling the guy a fake name. He was getting the hell out of there, right? He had to. He was way in over his head. What the hell was he thinking? He wasn’t thinking at all, that’s what the bloody problem was!

“M’name’s Zayn.” He spoke again, picking up on the fact that Liam was debating on wether or not to answer him.

Zayn.

Liam knew that he was more than likely staring at Zayn’s profile like an idiot, but he couldn’t help it. “Zayn” didn’t seem like a pseudonym, nor did it seem like a name that someone could make up on the spot.

“Zayn” Liam repeated, tasting the name on his tongue. It was strange; nice.

“Yeah.” Zayn breathed out, as if he’d just run a mile, licking his lips twice.

Liam was still looking at him cautiously. He wasn’t good with new things. New places, sights, and sounds overwhelmed him. Which is why it’s so strange that he’s sitting in a car with a fit stranger named Zayn and miles away from Andy’s apartment.

“I’m Liam.” Liam kept his hand on the door handle, which Zayn hadn’t bothered to lock. That relaxed him a bit.

“Liam” Zayn repeated just as Liam had, but his accent made it sound like Leeyum.

Neither lad asked about the other’s last name. Liam felt that it wasn’t important. The two sat in silence for a couple minutes, Zayn humming and tapping the steering wheel. He nodded his head along to the beat in his head, too. Looking out the window, Liam watched as their car whipped by trees and road signs. He had no idea where they were. He could be in fucking Scotland.

He’d never traveled outside of Wolverhampton. It never occurred to him to try and find a life away from his past. He never saw a point to it. To him, there's no escaping them, the #6s and the therapists and the familiar ache of loneliness. It’s all he had ever known.

“So, where do you want me to take you?” Zayn’s voice derailed Liam’s train of thought. The lad was looking at him now, eyes darting from the road in front of him to Liam’s face.

Now there was a question Liam couldn’t answer. Where was he going? He didn’t have anyone to go to, anywhere to go. He was homeless, with only his small savings from working as a bartender allowing him food and clothes. Grinding his teeth together, he turned away from Zayn. Fuck, it was embarrassing. His education was mediocre, his resume was laughable, and he was homeless for Christ’s sake.

“I don’t know.” He answered truthfully. Hoping to any God out there that Zayn wouldn’t use this as a go-ahead to kill him and leave his body in the forest. Zayn was quiet for a minute.

He could imagine the gears turning in Zayn’s head, and holy shit he’s so fucked.

“Wanna come with me?” Shit.

Liam wanted to say no. He was ready to stop drop and roll out of the car into the woods that he felt were safer than some lad he doesn’t know. But then there was the fact that Liam hasn’t made the most sound decisions lately. Quite the opposite, really.

“Where are you going?” He asks anyway. If he’s going off-road, it might as well be off a cliff.

Zayn hasn’t killed him yet, and although that doesn’t mean he’s safe, Liam’s options are limited. He needs to get to a motel with a bed and a shower. Plus, its now 7 and he hasn’t taken his meds yet.

There's another pause and another lick of lips that Liam follows.

“Anywhere. Everywhere. I never stay in one place for too long.” How very nomadic and serial-killer of him.

Choosing not to share his thoughts about Zayn and his possible criminal record, Liam asked “Why not?”

Zayn tightens his grip on the wheel. Liam’s heart tightens in his chest.

“When you stay in one place for too long, you get comfortable. Fall back into old habits and routines.”

Liam wouldn’t know the feeling. He savored the days when everything began to seem normal. When something was so familiar to him that it was natural, a routine. He had a sense of routine with Andy, but after so many years and so many games he didn’t know he was playing, he never allowed himself to sink fully into the schedule his new life offered. Liam was always on edge, waiting for the rug to be pulled out from under him.

“So you don’t like comfort?”

“No.” Zayn spoke quickly looking out his window. That makes them opposites, Liam thinks. Comfort is what levels Liam out, balances him for a couple seconds before the world shifts him out of control again. A shower longer than 10 minutes was like being cleansed of all negativity from the day, and a bed meant escape from all troubles in a warm, soft embrace.

“Got a habit you’re trying to break?” Liam asked, picking at a hole in his jeans. His eyes ran over Zayn’s body, taking in his long sleeved shirt even though it was a fairly nice day, and his faded black jeans. He adorned a nose piercing, and from what Liam could see down the cut of his shirt, had ink as well.

“Yeah” Zayn drawled, twitching in his seat. “Something like that.”


	2. Anxiety, Thy Bitch is Liam

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Don't punk out on me now, Liam" Zayn grinned. "I have quite the night planned out."
> 
> "Of course not. Who can turn down cheap cinema and dinner?" 
> 
> "Exactly."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> An update for you all! Thanks so much for reading and be sure to follow me on tumblr @thotograph !!

His first fight was with #5.

It was a shitty spring day, April showers drenching everything in Wolverhampton. The teachers were cranky, and the students were going stir-crazy waiting for school to be over.

Liam sat at the front of the class, right by the window. It was his spot. Not just because as a 15 year old boy, he had the attention span of a squirrel, but also because he liked looking outside. He liked the park next door and the old couples who would sit and feed ducks while all the kids were holed up inside the school's walls. He liked the calm that came with the trees and the faint chirping of birds just barely audible over the noises of the busy classrooms.

Adding eyes, a nose, and ears to the doodle at the side of his notebook, Liam tried to focus his attention back to Mr. Walker.

Physics should never be this boring.

“Psstt. Payne.” A familiar nasally voice whispered to close to his ear, causing him to move away slightly.

If annoyance and irritation could be manifested into a human being, than it was Jack. With his big green eyes, orange hair and pudgy cheeks, Jack looked every bit like the poster child for cabbage patch kids. Being the bully of the school had it’s perks. Like no one telling Mr. Walker, who had his back to the class, that he was engaging with Liam.

“How’s your mum? Nice pair of tits on that one, yeah? Her daughter’s a decent bird too.” Jack said lewdly, giving Liam a smirk that was so punchable it made his hand ache. But Liam not only feared getting kicked out of the school, but he’d more than likely get his ass kicked too.

“Shut up Jack.” Liam hissed back through clenched teeth. The possibility of flying fists and missing teeth aside, Liam wasn’t going to let Jack get away with this.

“What about your real mum? Well, she can’t be too fit to give birth to your fat arse.” Jack cackled, shushing when Mr. Walker shot him a look for being too loud.

“You don’t know anything. About me or my mum.” Liam spat, earning his own look from the teacher.

"Is there a problem Mr. Payne and Mr. Evans?"

"No sir." Both boys spoke at once, not willing to take their angry jabs as far as to tell the teacher.

Giving the two another look, Mr. Walker faced the board and continued to drone on.

“I heard she was a prostitute." Jack continued.  "You know, working her corner, willing to blow any bloke with more than a couple quid on him. Heard she got knocked around alot too. I can’t say I blame the guys. If I was stuck with someone who resembled you, I’d knock a few teeth out too. Get my money’s wo-”

“SHUT UP!” Liam yelled, ignoring both the students whispers teacher’s "Mr.Payne!". “You shut up about her. What about your mum, huh? Too busy knocking the bottle back to care for her shitty kid. You’re no better than me. You think that just because your dad pays for everything you are that makes you something special. Well you’re fucking not!”

“LIAM PAYNE!” Mr. Walker’s face was as red as the marker color on the board.

Red faced and breathing hard, Liam hastily grabbed his things and ran out, the teacher hot on his trail.

"The principal's office Mr.Payne. Now."

The principal's office had a comfortable sofa that Liam splayed out on, enjoying his moments of comfort as he listened to the muffled conversation on the other side of the door. All the same stuff, like “he’s a lot to handle” and “he’s troubled”. Same bullshit, different day.

He didn't mean to blow up like that. He can handle the jibes toward him, toward everyone else. But not to her. He used to, until he began receiving the letters.

* * *

He remembers that #5 didn’t even see him off. His social worker, Mrs.Clarke had picked him up the next day after school, his bags in the backseat of her car and yet another number.

It may not have been a physical dispute, but it was a verbal spar that left Liam feeling just a little more empty. Clutching the latest letter to his chest, he fought back tears and they pulled away from another one.

* * *

Anxiety, thy bitch is Liam Payne.

Since agreeing to join Zayn on his….journey? He can’t really call it one if there's no objective or end goal. Road Trip seems like a more appropriate word. A roadtrip to nowhere. That Liam has joined in on. Willingly. Without being forced into a shady car with a good looking but possible dangerous stranger.

Since agreeing, Liam’s leg has been shaking persistently. His current situation reminds him that he’s made a lot of stupid decisions in the last couple of days. What if this adds to the list?

That would fucking suck on more levels than one.

For one thing, He'd be shit out of luck because he'd be even farther from familiarity than he was 20 miles ago. For another, that would mean that Zayn would have to be an asshole, and Liam really,  really doesn’t want that.  And finally, he’s pretty tired of feeling like an idiot.

They’ve been driving for about an hour now. The landscape around them was now quite barren, the occasional bush and shrub set whipping now whipping by them every couple of minutes.

 Shifting in his seat, Liam alternately glanced between Zayn’s profile and his own window.

“You alright there mate?” Zayn asks, driving with one hand while the other taps out a beat on his leg.

“Yeah.” Liam breathes out, taking slow breaths to bring his heart rate down. “Can we take rest soon? Just to stop and stretch, use the loo?” He looks down at his hands as he speaks.

He waited for Zayn’s response to that. Liam didn’t feel like he was in the position to make demands, considering the fact that he’s not the one driving.Then again, he needed his meds.

“I could pull into a gas station if you like. I’ll fill her up” Zayn taps the dashboard

Liam hoped the surprise didn’t register on his face, although he’s pretty sure Zayn picked up the widening of his eyes.

“Oh, uh yeah, that’d be great.” Liam wasn’t sure what to feel. Relief, that Zayn doesn’t mind. Or fear, because if Zayn had shown that he had an attitude other than acceptance and kindness, then he wouldn’t have to be so tense and hesitant about everything. It’s exhausting.

“No problem.” Zayn says. “We’ll pull over a the first one we find. In the meantime..”

Tapping the armrest to indicate for Liam to lift up his arm, Zayn sticks his hand in. He fumbles around for a minute. Pulling out a CD, he waved it around.

“You mind?” He said with a smile. Liam couldn't help but laugh.

“There’s this great new invention. It’s called an aux cord.” Liam teased.

“Shut it.” Zayn told him as he inserted the CD into the drive. “It’s better this way. Trust me.”

Considering the fact that Liam feels like he’s in the Twilight Zone right now, he has a feeling that he’s going to be needing to trust Zayn a lot.

The opening beats to the first track began to play, Zayn having turned the volume up so the car vibrates slightly.

"Yeah I'm out that Brooklyn, now I'm down in Tribeca." To Liam's surprise, Zayn began to sing along.

"Right next to DeNiro, but I'll be hood forever." He continued, giving Liam a happy grin that he couldn't help but mirror. Zayn raised an eyebrow, encouraging Liam to join him in his little karaoke party. 

Rolling his eyes, Liam decided to humor him.

"I'm the new Sinatra, and since I made it here, I can make it anywhere, yeah, they love me everywhere" Liam rapped along, looking away when Zayn's face lit up.

The two continued to sing, Liam relaxing with each passing line and smiling wider with each verse. It was weird, how music soothed him and stomped out the nervous fire in his veins.

Each house that Liam has grown up in prefered a different genre of music. #7 enjoyed classical, always having it play throughout the house. It was easy to focus with the classical music playing. Although it was not Liam’s favorite genre, it helped him get his homework done.

#3 loved R&B, and to this day, it’s been Liam’s favorite genre.

The pair belted out Alicia Key's chorus. They sounded good together, in Zayn’s opinion. Liam knows this because after the song was over, he told him.

“You’re an ace singer.” Zayn complimented. Liam bet his life and his afterlife that he blushed at that. “Thanks, you too.”

The next song on the track was “Gold Digger” by Kanye West. The boys sang again, Liam a bit quieter, him still flustered at Zayn’s compliment.

Liam Payne was the worst compliment taker on this Earth.

It wasn’t like he got lots of them, though. When he does, it’s like a part of his brain shuts down. The most sensible one, at least. That part then takes it’s sweet time reviewing the compliment. “You’re an ace singer” soaks in until it inevitably twists into “You’re a shit singer”. Liam’s used to it, it’s just how his brain works.

"We're here." Zayn's voice broke Liam out of his thoughts

"What?"

"We're here at the next town, didn't you want to stop off at a gas station?"

Feeling like an idiot, all Liam could say was "Right,yeah,"

Driving down the streets of the town, Liam felt like he was in "Children of the Corn". It was practically deserted. He saw a few shops but no chain businesses like McDonald's or Starbucks. It reminded him of those horror movie towns, the ones where the locals are all wary about the creepy abandoned house at the top of the hill, and they’re the idiots that are moving in.

Liam hated horror movies.

Zayn is silent as he pulls into a gas station. Cutting off the engine, he grabbed his wallet and hopped out. Liam grabbing his bag from the back and followed him inside.

Walking next to each other, Liam could notice more differences between him and Zayn. For one, Liam was taller than him. Not by much, but combine that with his slim, almost gaunt body, and Liam could benchpress him without breaking a sweat.  

That does something to Liam that he can’t figure out, and he picks up the pace. The gas station looks to be in better shape than the majority of the town.

Walking it, a bell chimes.

The place was empty, save for the man behind the counter, who was stocking cigarettes back on the shelves. The man was short, with a round figure and slicked back black hair. His mustache twitched with every movement of his nose, and Liam could see the light reflecting off of several rings on his hands. The man reminded him vaguely of Paddy, #9’s school's janitor who used to look out for Liam while he was ridiculed and thrown around.

Clearing his throat, Liam spoke to Zayn, who was walking around and looking at the products lining the shelves. The gas station was small, and appeared to have a limited variety of goods.

“I’m gonna go over to the loo.” He pointed to the back of the gas station were two bathrooms were clearly marked.

“Huh?” Zayn replied, tearing his eyes away from the shelf and eyeing Liam instead. “Oh right, yeah. M’going to grab our dinner from here too.”

Looking around, Liam raised an eyebrow. How Zayn was going to put together a meal made from crisps and cola, Liam didn’t know, but to each their own.

While Zayn continued walking up and down the aisles, Liam sped away.Making his way to the dingy bathroom, he locked the door behind him.

* * *

 

“Take these twice a day.” The doctor, whose name Liam had already forgotten, passed Liam a bottle of blue pills. They looked too big, too menacing for a 16 year old to handle. They remind him of how fucked-up he is. How abnormal.

“Thanks.” He says anyway, the politeness of #7 already rubbing off on him even though he’s only been there 2 weeks.

“Now, the side effects of the pills include nausea and fatigue, but that should go away after a couple of weeks. If it doesn’t, set up an appointment and we can check things out.” His voice droned on, like a robot’s.

“Ok.” was all that Liam could say, staring at the bottle like it was Pandora’s box. Opening it would unleash insecurities and anger that Liam didn’t even know he had. Refusing to take the pills would be even worse. He wanted to feel better, but Liam wasn’t sure that he liked the medical methods of how to do so.

* * *

 

The bathroom was a typical gas station one. Shitty at best.

Opening his bag, Liam searched for the bottle of pills, moving around the few clothes he brought with him and the cash stuffed wallet. The wallet was one that Andy had bought him at the market. It was cheap, but very appreciated and did what it was designed to do. Besides, Liam has never been in a position to refuse gifts.

Grabbing the small orange container, he shook it, eyes widening when he heard the ping of only a couple pills.

“Shit!” Liam glared at the bottle in his hands. He was almost out. “Son of a bitch!”

Sighing, he ran his hand roughly through his hair before placing his hands on either side of the sink, staring at his reflection.

Adding on to his plethora of problems, Liam looked like he’s been through a tornado. His hair was disheveled, sweat causing it to stick to his forehead in a matted mess. His eyes were wide and bloodshot, the long-term effects of sleepless nights and hardworking days.

Turning on the faucet, he let cold water hit his hands. Running his hands across his face felt nice. It felt like he was washing away the dream, and its solidifying the reality. He really left Andy. He got into a car with a complete stranger (never mind his attractiveness) and agreed to ride with him wherever he desires to go. He’s now in a gas station bathroom freaking out because he’s almost out of the only medication keeping him sane. It sounded batshit crazy, but Liam had done it, and now there's another thing to add to he “I’m fucked” list.

After knocking back two pills and chasing them with water, Liam stole one last glance at himself before exiting the loo. He was greeted with the sight of Zayn chattering enthusiastically with the man behind the counter.

“Hey!” is what Zayn said as Liam walked over. “This is Joe. Joe, this is Liam”

Joe flashed him a bright smile. “I don’t see many faces coming through, it’s nice to see someone new.”

Smiling back, Liam noticed the couple of bags on the counter.

“Oh, I didn’t know what you liked, so I got us some tv dinners and some Coke. Also, Joe said there’s a store down the road that sells movies. We can pick one up on the way.”

Zayn seemed bright and cheery, which in turn made Liam’s mood pick up as well. He wasn’t sure what was up with Zayn’s moods. He hasn’t seen him in a bad one, but it seems that his emotional spectrum is neutral and relaxed to bright and giddy.

"TV dinners. The sophistication that those mashed potatoes and steak exudes is too much, really." Liam teased.

"Don't punk out on me now, Liam" Zayn grinned. "I have quite the night planned out."

"Of course not. Who can turn down cheap cinema and dinner?"

"Exactly."

He really needed to re-up on his meds. Immediately. Liam can’t bring himself to admit it though. Here, in front of Joe smiling face and Zayn's happy teasing. Liam can’t help but feel like it’d bring the mood crashing down. It would raise too many questions and cause looks that Liam isn’t sure he’s ready to deal with right now.

“Where are you boys headed?” Joe asked, looking from Zayn to Liam trying to decipher the relationship between the two.

Liam felt his face grow hot as he took a step away from Zayn, keeping his eyes down.

“We’re not sure.” Zayn answered, oblivious to Liam’s fidgeting. He was fiddling around himself, actually. Tapping his foot and keeping his eyes in constant motion. It made Liam want to reach out and grab him. How contradictory, considering the space Liam just made between them. “Do you know of any motels around here?”

Joe stroked his dark beard in a contemplative manner. Turning back to the cash register, he fishes around under it, pulling out what a map.

"This is all we have in this part." He spoke with a roll of his eyes. "There's another city, a bigger one about 150 miles from here. I'd take a rest though, it's gettin late and in this part, streetlights are rare.”

Taking the map from him, Liam looked at the key, which told him that there was a motel about a mile from here.

"Let's go here." He pointed, moving so Zayn could see what he was talking about.

"Sweet. What do you think the star rating is?" Zayn asked Joe.

“Negative one star, I’d say.”

“Perfect.” Zayn’s face was serious, and Liam wonders what the hell he’s gotten himself into. “It fits with the atmosphere. Right, Liam?”

"Yeah" Liam said, half listening as he traced out the roads with his finger.

"Not much of a talker is he?" Joe asked, grinning at Zayn. Liam faltered in his tracing, but refused to look up, knowing that there were eyes on him.

Chuckling, Zayn finally grabbed all of the bags on the counter.

"No, but I'll crack him eventually" Zayn smirked. Liam didn't have to see his face to know that it was now dusted a light pink color, getting darker as Zayn continued to smile.

Joe laughed. “I’m sure you will. Take care, boys!”

With that, the two exited the gas station.

Once they were settled back into the car, Zayn spoke again.

“What kind of movie should we get?”

Liam hesitated before replying “It doesn’t matter to me. Whatever you like.”

That got him an eye roll and a “Well, what’s your favorite movie?”

This time, Liam didn’t hesitate before replying “The Dark Knight.”

Liam has always loved comic books and superheros. As a child, he would dress as them for halloween, if the family he was with granted him permission to join in the October 31st festivities. His all time favorite hero was Batman. Liam used to draw the bat signal on his tests and notes, perfecting the image by the time he was with #5.

His first comic came from #3. They belonged to the family’s eldest son, who was then away at college. It had been a Batman one, and Liam was instantly drawn in by the way good had always seemed to triumph over evil. In a way, it gave him some hope in his life that things would get better than they were. He wondered where his good was, to balance out all the evil.

“I love Batman.” Zayn looked at Liam with wide eyes, and Liam could practically see the excitement bubbling up into Zayn’s mood. “I’ve loved him ever since I was a kid.”

“Me too.” Liam admitted.

“I dressed as the joker for Halloween 5 times in a row when I was younger.” Zayn continued as he drove.

“I dressed as Batman every year.” Every year he was allowed, at least. “Is that the place?”

What Liam was referring to was the building a couple feet away from them. it looked to be in business, and had a sign at the front that said “Clarke’s Cinema”. It was obviously a family owned and run establishment.

“That looks like the place.”

“I didn’t think they had DVD stores anymore.” Liam said.

“Me neither.”

Pulling into a parking slot, the two entered the building, another bell chiming. It reminded Liam of Blockbusters, with aisles of movies throughout the store, a CD section to the side, and candy/popcorn up at the front near the counter.

“I’ll grab the movie. Can you pick out some snacks?” Zayn asked.

“TV dinners and junk food seem like the meal plans of a true health nut.” Liam replied, already walking toward the sweets.

“Hey! This is the dinner of champions.”

WIth a small smile, Liam said “Whatever helps you sleep at night.”

Looking over the stacks of chocolate and candy, Liam cringed. He was never a huge junk eater. He liked it. His families just never allowed it.

But now, picking up a package of buttery popcorn and a box of raisinettes, Liam figures that’s going to change. With their limited funds, there's not going to be many nights spent at 5 star restaurants where you can’t pronounce half the things they put in front of you.

Walking over to the register, he smiled at the girl who was behind it. She couldn’t be older than 24, with brown hair and grey eyes. Her nametag read “Jesy”.

“Hello!” She spoke, giving him a bright smile. “Will that be all?”

“Nope, this too.” Zayn cut in, coming up from behind Liam and placing The Dark Knight DVD onto the counter.

While Jesy was ringing up their items, Liam couldn't help but notice the proximity of Zayn. Their arms were grazing with every breath, and it made Liam’s stomach twist. Not uncomfortably, but it reminded Liam of things he’d quite like to forget.

“Your total is 6 pounds.”

Handing over the money, Liam thanked her before grabbing the bags and following Zayn back out to the car.

“To the motel?”

“Yep.” Zayn replied, pulling out of the parking lot.

Liam grabbed the map that Joe had given him, reading off directions.

“Turn right at this stop sign.”

Zayn followed each of his directions, “Pink Matter” by Frank Ocean making the car vibrate again. Liam was feeling more at ease than ever, finding comfort in the easy teasing and Zayn’s unfaltering kindness.

There was still one problem, Liam though as he directed Zayn to their destination. He was still out of pills. The next city, according to Joe, was 150 miles from here. He has to take them twice a day. It’ll only take a couple hours to get there, but Liam hasn’t ever gone more than an hour without taking his medication.

Liam can live without his medication for a little while. Right?

 

 


End file.
